I couldnt sleep last night and felt rather flu like. I ran out of Lemsip and went into the medicine cupboard in which I found some Night Nurse.. ( a liquid asprin, so to speak, but makes you sleep ) I took a gulp, went to bed and couldnt sleep. Maybe I should sue.

In a remarkable coincidence, a reader of my blog, the Glasgow Artist Stuart Murray, also indulged in Night Nurse recently…

Which, jogged a memory about Night Nurse and I wish to share it with my dear readers because I cant think of anything else to blog about this evening.

—-

In the late 1980s, my mother used to harp on and on about a woman she knew who was probably the world’s first and last Night Nurse addict. Anyway, Nursey ( We shall call her Nursey to protect the dead ) would drink a bottle of this every day and would retire for the evening at 6pm on the dot. Nursey’s strange addiction led her to ask others to go into Chemists to avoid suspicion.

This fascinated me as a kid. Others indulge in drink or some illegal drug as an escape, but Night Nurse was so original an escape that maybe when I am old and unwanted I will do the same, just to be different.

Anyway back to the story. Nursey apparantly died. Apologies Nursey if your still alive. A year or so later, I met mum in a cafe she frequented probably to have a fly fag when this old woman was sitting next to her who was called Nursey, same age, same appearance.

I was in awe of meeting this paracetemolic. After a few pleasantries I began to become afraid because Nursey was dead.. She is not alive, shes dead.

Nursey: Aw Stephen, your a clever boy! I’ll buy him a sandwich Jeanette.. Dae ye like Cheese Salad Rolls?

The Young Stephen: No.

Nursey: Why? Yer mammy said you do!

The Young Stephen: Not anymore, cos your dead.

Nursey: EH?!!

The atmos at this point soured..

The Young Stephen: I dont wish to have a roll. You died last year cos you drank too much Night Nurse!.

Horrifed she was… Horrified..

Mum had to leave in embarrasement ( as did I )

The woman was upset. She certainly wasnt dead, and later I realised she wasnt Nursey…

They did share, the name..

The 29th year alive.. oh Happy New Year!! Actually last night when the Glasgow Artist Stuart Murray wished me a Happy New Year, I went into a tirade about why do people celebrate the fact that one is a step closer to becoming a skeleton in the soil.

Well someone had to mention this!!

Im looking forward to this year and I have a list of what I want to happen:

1. Get a record deal and play a gig but maybe not in that order..

2. World Peace ( the usual cliche )

3. Everyone around me to be happy.

4. Go abroad for a holiday this year.

5. Get fit

6. Blog more

7…

Oh I cant think of anymore.

Entertain me with what you want to happen in 2007..

How was it for you? Mine was a well documented mixed bag.

I lost a lot, then found new things to be stimulated by. Music, work, new friendships and, unfortunatly.. new arch enemies. ( I think everyone has at least one arch enemy. I have two.. )

2006 will go down in memory for mostly the wrong reasons personally. But I have a feeling that 2007 will be rather interesting by the way things are going..

So this will be my final post for the year. Thanks for reading and a big thanks to the messages/comments/emails I have recieved during the period where everything that could go wrong, went wrong..

Oh before I go, I have one final observation for Glasgow artist Stuart Murray….

—-

After work, I like to sit for a while in Buchannan Street Bus Station to watch people mostly escape Glasgow for the evening, and how I envy them. Last week, I needed to empty my bladder so went to use the station toilet. All the cubiles were full and I waited for a vacant one.

What almost put me off waiting was the terrible smell coming out of a cubicle. Unfortuntly an old tramp came out and I had to use that cubicle..

The old tramp looked at me before he left the toilet and said ‘ Ye dinnae waant tae go in thre son. You will smell ma cancer. A think ave got it, n hid it fur like 40 years.. ‘

I just smelled shit.

Im not sure if I have posted this before. Ive long had a theory that 80s cartoon classic Superted had hidden anti gay/AIDS messages. Obviously the creators didnt have that in mind - its just my deductions which are usually random and off the wall.

Whenever I have spoke about this to others, they too kind of agree…

Superted: His emblem on his teddy breast is like a yellow trimmed public triangle of a woman’s genital area. He is the hero, and the embodiment of good..

Boney: Boney was Texas Pete’s Skeletal sidekick who was, a skeleton with a camp voice and wore gloves and carpet slippers. He had strong homosexual overtones, and as it was made in the 1980s, his skeletal appearance had connotations of AIDS.

Spotty: Well Spotty was a good guy who caught VD. ( hence the spots )

Also, as mentioned by a good friend of mine, why did Spotty not fly up to Mother Nature and ask for the special linctus that gave Superted his powers? I mean, think of the waste of fuel and the awkwardness of wearing a rocket pack.

I had heard about this from a selection of Taxi Drivers:

In Glasgow, some kind of unpublicised work idea for asylum seekers ( EDIT: actually Katie pointed out they are immigrants, asylum seekers are not allowed to work.. ), Glasgow City Council are offering non English speakers the chance to become private hire drivers with the freebie of SatNav and a translator sitting in the passenger seat.

Im all for a multi cultural society, but this is not right. Regardless of colour or creed, I wouldnt feel comfortable being in a taxi with two men, one who is behind the wheel and cant speak English. How could he read and understand our roadsigns? Surely it would be more logical for a would be taxi driver immigrant to undertake some sort of English course?

A lot of women certainly would not go into a car with two strange men.. Racist taxi drivers are having a field day with this absolute nugget from Glasgow City Council and I have to listen to thier filth on some mornings..

UPDATE: I have been informed that this may not be exactly a Council idea...