Is manflu. Anytime I have a touch of the cold there is always some woman in the workplace laughing and using their medical knowledge to diagnose manflu.

What a rotten term.

Another rotten term which I dont use but probably invented is bumperiods

But the urban dictionary doesnt seem to have a definition for this one..

On Friday afternoon I was called to the family home as my brother had an accident with a wet floor and a mop. As I arrived he was in a lot of pain and he believed he fractured his collarbone by slipping on the wet kitchen floor.

I had a good look and with my limited medical knowledge I agreed with his self diagnosis which meant only one course of action: Glasgow Royal Infirmary.

Oh how I hate that place, I hate it so much that for sometime now I have considered carrying around a card which states ‘ In event of emergency please do not take me to Glasgow Royal Infirmary ‘

When we arrived to the Casualty department, it was as filthy as it was when I took my mother there on Xmas Day. You are greeted by graffiti outside the main entrance, inside the seats in the waiting room are shaky or broken, the parts of the walls are caked with dirt, and some of the vending machines are broken.

Welcome to the NHS in Glasgow.

People will say it is because of the type of people who frequent the department and I appreciate that. Why don’t Strathclyde Police have a small office in the Casualty department, where there are a pair of on site Constables? Maybe that will prevent the waiting room looking less comforting for worried friends and relatives of the sick and injured.

A hospital department should not look like this regardless of who goes into it for immediate treatment.

Finally, my brother was treated fairly quickly. Fractured collarbone.

Recently, I have had many conversations with friends, acquaintances, hangers on and what I have started to find is that many of them have piles.

For the uninitiated, piles is the slang term for haemorrhoid in which the dictionary definition is as follows:

# An itching or painful mass of dilated veins in swollen anal tissue.
# haemorrhoids The pathological condition in which such painful masses occur. Also called piles.

Talking about piles in public places is a form of social taboo, a taboo so taboo that a group of men got up and left a pub as my friends and I spoke about the ‘grapes of wrath ‘. Many people are in denial about piles, but the most offensive part of haemorrhoidal chit chat is the word Anusol.

People go wild at the name, and in my conversational research it is women who dish out Anusol Prejudice. Oh, I’d better explain what Anusol is:

The Anusol range includes treatments to suit every need when it comes to piles.

Whether you use cream, ointment, suppositories or a combination of applications, they provide effective, soothing relief from discomfort and irritation.

There are three types of treatment you can use:
Creams are suitable for treating internal and external piles.Ointments can also be used for internal and external piles and because they are slightly greasy, they provide relief for sore, dry skin. Suppositories are ideal for treating internal piles, ensuring that a full dose of medication is applied inside your bottom.

Each treatment contains a number of ingredients:

* Zinc Oxide is an astringent which soothes and protects raw areas and helps reduce swelling. It also acts as an antiseptic to prevent bacterial growth.

* Bismuth Oxide is an astringent and antiseptic and also protects raw, irritated areas.

* Balsam Peru is an antiseptic which has a protective action on sore areas and can promote healing.

* Anusol Plus HC products also contain Hydrocortisone, an effective anti-inflammatory ingredient.

Source: Piles Advice

When a woman who is in a casual relationship with a man, the prejudice can arise when she needs to go to the toilet. The woman plunders around the toilet looking at all the toiletries when ‘ ARGGH! ‘ the tube of Anusol is found.

This can lead to the woman accusing the heterosexual male of closet homosexuality. I find that attitude a dreadful prejudice and it is rather common but not talked about enough.

Has anyone out there been ‘Anusoled’ ? I haven’t, although I know a few. Their names are kept in confidence as would yours.

Mum is back in hospital. On Xmas day her condition deteriorated.

Everything was going so well. She was eating like a horse, she was happy and full of life and even started making plans for next year. However on Xmas she had difficulty getting up from the chair and began to soil herself. Mum’s stomach had swollen rather badly and by early evening she was in a lot of pain.

We tried to cope but failed. I made the decision that we had to send her back into hospital. Perhaps she came home too soon.

I called up NHS 24 who did their best to assist me over the telephone. They sent out an emergency GP who immediately telephoned the hospital to send an ambulance to return mum to hospital.

That call was made at 11pm. The ambulance did not arrive until 5am.

Throughout the night mum put up with a living hell that was causing her so much pain. I telephoned NHS 24 several times who just could not help. It wasn’t their fault, Glasgow had a very high 999 call influx. In the end they suggested I dial 999, however I got nowhere with them. There were too many other higher risk cases to deal with first before an ambulance arrived with mum.

The ambulance arrived and the Paramedics were rather distressed as they knew about the time we waited for them. All evening they were collecting teenage drunks off the street, escorting them to hospital where nothing much could be done apart from giving them strong coffee and a Police taxi home.

Mum finally got to hospital and they discovered that she was suffering from a probable side effect from a pill called Tramadol, which kills off cancer pain. This caused impacted faeces. In other words, mum needed the toilet. She was urinating all evening but the pain in her bowels and stomach made any waste disposal not happen.

We do not know how long she will be in for. She is a weak, poor old soul right now. Mum has the will to live, nothing will ever take that away, but the cancer inside her seems to be taking its grip.

I saw the X-ray of her chest this morning. It made me vomit. The cancer is all over her breast and her lung. When I saw that, any hope I have of having mum for a few more years died.

Cancer doesn’t take a break for Xmas. It doesn’t believe in it.

Well, it looks like mum’s remarkable fightback is slowly starting to work. She was informed today that she might be discharged from hospital before Xmas.

The Doctor also told her that the lung fluid drain will be removed sometime this week, and that the team do think that the fluid will return ( Which is different to the prognosis on this last week )

Her other lung is clear, her other organs are fit and healthy, and for the health gurus out there, she hardly has any cholesterol in her blood. (more…)