A sales call regarding my gym membership has made me realise I need to stop wasting that gym subscription and start getting toned up again. I have ate too much junk this year and probably have put on a few unnoticeable pounds.
I ask you dear reader. What kind of regime should I do? The last time I went to a gym, I lasted five minutes. Its embarrassing. I have lost all my fitness.
So your ideas are most welcome.
My second trip into the world of the swans and the instruments of modern day torture .. I mean er.. gym equipment was a slight progression from day one.
I have no idea how to do a proper warm up. I saw a few mullets warming up, I tried to copy their movements but I felt they were posing more rather than avoiding injury. The gym was busy yet again, so my choice of workout was limited. I went on the stair climber thing for about ten minutes and I was exhausted. Well ten minutes is better than about five minutes. So far so good.
One thing though, speaking as a heterosexual male, I cant stand the sight of wrinkly pee pees in the male changing room. The male wotsit when wrinkly, has to be the most non aesthetically pleasing looking tools of nature. Horrid!
I joined a gym last week. This evening was my induction. An induction of pain, embarrassment and slight worry.
Christ on a bike I am so unfit, and I feel ashamed to have left myself go fitness wise. Fitness and cabbage soup was the key many years ago to conquer a ‘ Fat Elvis Period ‘ which left me thin and super fit. After my student years I forgot the exercise yet still remained slim.
Five minutes I lasted on that power walker thing. A device of modern day torture. As I felt ill and breathless, I looked around at all the Swans doing their reps and fat burning, with enough sweat dripping off them to cure a drought. They were once like me. I don’t wish to bulk up. I prefer being slim, toned and healthy.
However, I shall never be a posing swan. Swans are hilarious. Especially if they are mullet wearers.
Okay, do you people out there know what a swan is?
