I have three pairs of white shoes. Ive always liked white shoes for some reason.

Recently, I invested in a pair of white Italian loafers for formal and social wear. They are very shiny white though so they are… distinctive..

So distinctive that when I wear them, people ( especially men ) in Glasgow cant help stop looking at me - well my feet. I don’t like the attention, they are only shoes! So my fellow Glaswegians, I ask: What makes you look at white shoes, then look at the shoe wearer as if they were a social shoe leper?

One such white shoe curio looked at them so much that he tripped and fell on his backside outside my work…. HA fookin HA..