I was pretty emotional at my day job today as my work colleague’s last day arrived. We have been side by side five days a week for under a year and we clicked immediately. He is one of my good friends and someone on my wavelength. We have had some fine times in the workplace, and we will have even better ones in the future.

Always remember buddy, we will find the answers in music.

——-

I was on the bus this evening where a small group of youths who go to St Andrew’s RC Secondary in Glasgow ( Yeah guys, I know the uniform, maybe I will phone Bruce Malone your head teacher ) were shouting abuse at their fellow passengers. Naturally as someone as distinctive as me was heckled by them on the journey.

I was delighted to be called Buddy Holly, even though I don’t dress like him or wear glasses. I rate Buddy Holly higher than Franz Ferdinand.

What was intriguing in their ned behaviour, is that they got off the bus and dived into the bus shelter and produced ink pens, then proceeded to draw over the shelter. Ive not seen that before - well not live in a busy bus shelter.. Graffetti to me always appeared like magic in bus shelters, usually overnight.. The bus was at the stop for some time due to a semi breakdown, so I had a good look at their ned hieroglyphics which always impresses me how neat they write. ‘ L.C.C ‘ and ‘Shows Yer Tits ‘ were augmenting the sterility of modern day bus shelter design.

Ned Hieroglyphics should be an art exhibition. I wonder if the Glasgow Artist Stuart Murray would care to comment on this? A night of ned hieroglyphics with buckfast tonic wine handouts instead of the château de pretentious red wine from Asda would be on the menu, with rich teas and kingfisher cheese from the corner shop.

Ive been plagued by mobile silent calls from an international call centre recently and its fooking annoying! Im registered on TPS for my mobile phone and I still get these damn calls all from the same 08000 number.

Ive worked in sales, so why cant the sales person from either India, France, Pakistan or Greenock have the confidence to attempt to speak to me and let me know that my mobile phone contract is not saving me money and that they want to send me a free phone with lots of free mins and texts. They must know that I am going to say no, so when my number comes up on the random dialling system they must quake in fear that Stephen Sherry is next to be called..

I did have a call before I was on TPS: ( The following account has been dramatised to add salt and favour )

Phone Rings… Ring ring…

Stephen: Hello? ( In English accent. I adopt this for unfamiliar numbers )

Caller: Hi, I wanna talk about phones.

Stephen: Pray tell on..

Calller: Yeah, the phone you have. It aint right for you.

Stephen: Shall I call it and dump it?

Caller: ( Laughs hesitantly, his mind racing to overcome my smart ass objection handling technique )

Caller: Well if it isn’t attractive to you Sir, maybe I can be match maker?

Stephen: Okay Mr Match Maker, match me with something..

Caller: Ah! I can see you like to talk.. A talker needs a lot of minutes on his mobile. I can give you 150 a month.

Stephen: 150 a month sounds like an engrossing offer. But I have 300 minutes a month.

Caller: Ah! you like to REALLY talk?! To ladies and lots of them I bet sir!

Stephen: And men too. I believe in equality. Not just chicks dig the sexy voice..

Caller: ( Laughs ) Okay! 200mins and 700 texts. Think of it this way, you can entertain the chicks by sending sexy texts! lots of them!

Stephen: But my sexy texts could be done for gross obscenity. How would you like it if I typed: Purple Headed Warrior and text you?

Caller: ( Laughing his sales ass off ) Well I might be impressed by that sir!

Stephen: I have 35 inch legs and would look impressive in tights..

Caller: ( becoming unsure of my skills.. ) Er..okay. Anyway. This offer..

Stephen ( I butt in ) What about my offer?

Caller: What offer is that sir?

Stephen: About me texting you Purple Headed Warrior and coming to see you after work so you can gaze at my 35 inch legs in American Tan Tights?

Caller: Oh er I only want to speak about phones. Now if you could confirm your postcode..

Stephen: You don’t like tights. Okay, brown corduroy then? I look good in them..

Caller: Sir, if we can get back to the reason for the call.

Stephen: Your trying to close me while I try to get close to you.

Caller: Eh?

Stephen: Your trying to sell me a naff phone with naff mins and texts I will never use. I don’t text anyone any more. I’m unwanted. Round here, they don’t like 35 inch legs in tights under brown corduroy. But you my friend, your voice evokes a fondness.. Let me open you…

( At this stage the caller hangs up )

Tonight, I composed a chapter to Ofcom.

I just heard the first advert for this year’s Xmas on Radio Clyde.

Roy Wood/Wizard’s wish is going to be granted…

Ive not posted in a few days due to studio/work commitments plus I have been recovering from a night out with friends (which included the Glasgow artist Stuart Murray ) - I am a very light drinker but somehow I ended up being rather drunk and ill. Being at work the next day was not a pleasant experience. Unshaven and wearing sunglasses with a breath like a bad brewery..

I ended up having to avoid a trip to visit friends in Gourock yesterday because I was still feeling queasy. Id rather avoid alcohol from now on, but narrow-minded people will say its a sign of socially retardedness.

Music wise I have been working on a funky track out of Tommy Sheridan’s mother’s wonderful singing. The results have been startling - she works well with hip hop beats. However I have decided to abandon the project for two reasons: Too many key changes and what’s the bloody point?

Well, maybe my ringtone idea will happen. Have a sample:

Download Link

Brilliant post from Gordon

I agree with him. Culture.. I cant identify with what goes on around me these days. I sometimes feel that I fell into this reality from an alternative one. Its not deliberate swimming against the tide, its just who I am. Sometimes people have problems with this. It has ruined friendships, relationships, collaborations musically.

I think I could be culturally retarded. I comb my hair in a fashion that culturally is not part of this present cuture.. It probably will never be part of a future culture either.

Yes, culturally retarded.. I lack culture big time and if anyone wants to offer me some culture, preferably at weekends, let me know..