Ive been blogging here for almost a year now. When I first started a marginal walker it was just going to be a blog of random musings ( it still is, or I hope it is! ) As regular readers are aware I have blogged a lot about my late mother and her breast cancer battle.

The archives of the blog in relation to what mum, my family and her friends went through are all there to be read. It is frank, sometimes raw and deeply personal. It had to be. I want those archives to serve as a warning, a possible window into the future for women out there who are afraid to go to the Doctor if they have found any lumps or changes in their breasts. Delay the issue and you die like my mum.

If those blog postings from Nov 2005 - Feb 2006 can somehow make a difference for a worried woman and influence her to go to get a check up, then the sharing of my pain and grief throughout the whole process would have been worthwhile if it ended up saving someone’s life.

Last night, I was in conversation with someone who came across my blog a few weeks ago. She had read all the posts of this blog. Somehow though, she believed that I am a very unhappy person after reading my blog and she found that unsettling.

( I originally included some swear words here, but I have edited them out.. )

Apologies, but anyone who has lost a loved one due to a horrific illness such as metastatic breast cancer can not be happy every day during and after the whole process. Her comments have angered me so much that I am posting them on this blog.

My blog, and everyone’s else’s blog only captures a small part of a person’s life. Personally I lead a good comfortable life with a lot of laughter these days which has been such a fantastic comfort during days when I have felt unhappy. There is so much yet to do, such as musical ambition which can often trouble me due to either slight procrastination or lack of will.

I only post on what I feel is relevant at the time. If its a happy post then so be it. If it is a melancholic toned posting then again, so be it.

On closing I really hope that this girl never wakes up and discovers breast lumps, or has any close family members in the future with any form of terrible illness that is too far gone for treatment. If it does happen, you certainly wont be smiling or feeling positive everyday. In fact, during that time you might get told by some fool that you are a very unhappy person.

That would be rather unsettling wouldnt it?