I have been looking around for a flat share. Some of the places I have been are not what is advertised regarding the condition of the double room or the people who occupy the abode. Obviously one cant get one with everybody, but one cant get on with people who lie in their advertisement. In order not to spoil their lies, I wont be naming any names!

However I have a good chuckle at some of the adverts,

especially the ones that contain:
‘ Must be free spirited and gay friendly ‘

Well, If I was looking to allow someone share my place, the last thing on my mind would be the potential flatmate’s sexuality or spirit, so my mock advert would be like this:

I cant pay the bills in my flat, so I have a room that can be slept in for £300 pcm (including bills ). Non smoker preffered who is tidy and clean. I don’t care if you bat for the other side, so I’m gay or hetero or asexually
friendly as long as you pay the rent and flush the toilet. Bring your own Anusol. Flat is nice and clean. I am quiet, boring, occasionally enthusiastic. Oh you don’t care and I don’t care about you!! Just come have a look at the room, and pay me the rent if you want it!

And what is a semi professional? A student who works in a bar?